No Joke

12 hours each day this weekend on my feet and screaming over loud music was how unfunny can. Luckily customers were more interested in queueing than in finding out what they were queueing for. Ah, sweet paradox of Singaporean impatience.

So I learnt, never walk past the queue, for you will never get to your intended destination without being stopped a few hundred times to be asked "Eskew me miss, am I in the right queue? Orh, ok. Can you tell me about this promotion?"

Wah rao!!! Singaporeans, thankewverymuch, I never lost faith til Saturday at Ngee Ann City, when I saw the monstrous magnetism queueing had inflicted upon the thousands who turned up hours before the show began. Alamak, you dunno what f*ck the queue is for also want to queue. Please la.

And, no joke ok, after resting from the weekend's fatigue, I went to get a spontaneous dental check-up, since for some strange reason, I woke up realising it has been years since my last. Read: Years. I.e. I cannot even remember if it was in secondary or primary school. Gross right.

And, today's driving lesson got me (and the instructor, the same beng one) in a fit because halfway along Tampines, I revealed a terrifying truth:

Instructor: (visibly bored, waiting for traffic light change.) So how many times have you been on the road already?

Me: This is my first what.

Instructor: (grabs handle-bar, eyes wide open) What?! Wah lao, now you tell me?!

Me: Hur, I thought you knew!

Instructor: Eh, but confirm you drive before la.

Me: Erh, no, maybe Daytona only la.

Instructor: What?! You swear?!

Me: Swear!!

Instructor: Eh don't bluff me...

Me: Hello, this is only my fourth lesson leh.

Instructor: What! Then you still dare to drive so fast! Wah laaaaaaao.